Everybody has a wacky neighbor at some point…..

One particular neighbor moved to the head of that category early on. We were out inspecting a huge madrona tree in our yard that needed to be removed. Since the wacky neighbor was outside watching the goings on with the tree he offered to take it down. Since he had a view corridor through our property we decided to let him.

A couple of days later he and his brother were driving a scissor-lift down our driveway. I told him there was only one thing to stay away from; a four-way plum tree that had been given to us by my Mom. No problem. So the brothers ascend in the lift and start lopping off branches with a chain saw. All was well until they started consuming copious amounts of beer. Oh, boy.

It wasn’t long before they had gotten the lift lodged in the tree. They were up there squabbling like little girls, we were down below laughing hysterically. Finally they got the contraption dislodged and the chain saw was fired up again. The next thing we heard was “Oh _ _ _ _!” They had cut off a huge branch that came sailing down and impaled the sacred plum tree. It sliced it in half vertically!

Later that day they finished and left the way they came like a couple of knights atop their trusty steeds. That was twelve years ago. The neighbor has since moved on but the branch is still lodged in the tree.

Dad, he’s laughing at me

Yesterday I took Tucker to be groomed. Which in itself is kind of funny since he has short hair. When I went to pick him up the groomer was finishing up a teeny, tiny dog…at least I think it was a dog. The not so teeny, tiny owner picked it up and left.

The groomer retrieved Tucker and we were off. He’ll usually stop and peruse the dog treat aisle on his way out but this time I exited via a horse paraphernalia aisle. Smart move; I’ll have to remember that next time.

I noticed the owner of the teeny, tiny dog was parked next to me. He must have roamed around the store because he was just getting in his car. As I was waiting for the hatch to open on my SUV the fellow leaned out of his car and said, with a perfectly straight face, “I think your dog was laughing at mine.”

After he pull out of the parking lot in his teeny, tiny car Tucker and I looked at each other and broke out laughing.

He has issues...

Tucker, according to the calendar, has left puppyhood behind. He is now a card-carrying, adult dog food eatin' dog. So I'm thinking he should've outgrown some goofy habits; at least one or two.

He loves to chew, I mean REALLY loves to chew. Thankfully he has given up on shoes.....for the most part. Tucker is especially fond of wood. Its important to give him a wide berth when he's running around the yard at breakneck speed with a 4' long stick clenched between his teeth. If he can't put his chompers on a stick he'll climb onto the wood pile to find a suitable candidate. Our deck looks like the home of the 2014 international woodchuck convention!

Please tell me he'll outgrow this faze. Our wood pile is dwindling.

Customer No Service

There is one grocery store in our little burg that I loath. Unfortunately for me they have deep discounts that I just can't pass up. I won't name the store but it rhymes with Albertson's.

I had a rain check expiring soon and decided to suck it up and head to the store. It was late in the evening so I  thought surely the lines won't snake down the aisles. I was wrong.

I quickly grabbed my items and decided to use self check. I waited patiently for a register to open and signed in with my loyalty card (I hate to admit I have one!) and began scanning. My first item went smoothly. The second not so much. I scanned it and put it on the belt. The scanner said to take it off the belt. The second I lifted it up it said to place it on the belt. After dancing this dance three times I looked for someone to help. No one in sight. Frustrated I moved to another scanner.

The process wasn't much smoother. Finally a surly woman showed up to help. "She has trouble scanning sometimes" she said. Did I miss something? When did grocery scanners become anthropomorphic. I couldn't push the pay button fast enough!

I had a rain check so I took it to the woman who had reluctantly helped me. When I handed her the slip of paper you'd think I had put a cow pie in her hand. She went ballistic. "You can't do this at self check" she yelled. When I finally found my voice I blurted out, "I've done it this way before without a problem." She was not amused.

It seemed she didn't know how to process the transaction. After finding someone to give her the magic code she punched a couple of keys and muttered, "You can pay now". I paid and sprinted to the nearest exit.

My son, my loss

When the night sky is illuminated with a billion stars and there is a stillness to the air, I feel the presence of my son Jonathan. The pain is so raw, searing through my chest. For a few minutes it is difficult to inhale. Then it passes.